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Why I really need a pig.


For the last couple of years I've been on a plastic-elimination diet, and working hard at drastically reducing my landfill footprint (ie what I cause to sent to be buried in the ground for all eternity*). I have made some huge progress, although I still have some way to go to becoming zero waste (I think I'm at about 80% waste-free).

One step on this journey was to get rid of my kitchen bin. In theory, everything I use in my kitchen should be either recyclable or compostable, leaving no use for a kitchen bin. However, I do have one item that is neither: my cat's uneaten food.

FreddyCat is a fussy eater. I put this down to his hyperthyroidism – and being a cat. After considerable trial and error, I have found a range of foods that he will (usually) consent to eat, but he never eats ALL of anything I put down for him. There is always something left over; sometimes all of it. Cat food reeks even before going off, so I have to dispose of it.

As I am a very small household, and have a very small compost bin that struggles to compost at the best of times, and have read that meat shouldn't go in the compost anyway, I have to send Freddy's uneaten food to landfill (I can't give it to my dog, for reasons).

Moreover, I currently live a unit belonging to Queensland Housing, and we are under strict instructions to place all of our rubbish in plastic bags before putting them in our communal garbage bins. This means that Freddy's uneaten food is sitting, preserved, in little plastic time-bubbles, in landfill. Most of the plastic bags I use are so-called “eco” bags, but these bags are usually photo-degradable, which means that they fall into bits in sunlight, but of course don't degrade when they're buried in the earth, as there is no sunlight. I'm not sure which is worse.

This is why I need a pig. Pigs are omnivores. My pig could dispose of Freddy's leftovers, and in return, give me some compost-boosting pig poo. Then I would no longer need plastic bags, and would have no use for the communal garbage bins at all. I would also have a pig, which is brilliant in itself. Pigs are awesome.

Very, very sadly, I don't have the space for a pig. However, I am moving to the country in a few months, and although I have no idea as yet what kind of accommodation I will be in, the idea of having a pig has crept into my mind. Perhaps just a little one?

Esther the Wonder Pig.
 *or until we start mining landfill for lost resources.

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