Why it's a good thing I'm not big on Christmas.

I've lost friends over my personal views about “not doing” Christmas, but it's just as well that I'm not into Christmas in a big way, as I am totally skint at the moment, and can't even afford postage for Christmas cards. I'm hanging onto my home internet connection by the skin of my teeth, so may be able to send out a few virtual seasonal greetings, although I'll probably just tweet something (it shows up on facebook, too, you see).

If I submitted to the social pressure of Christmas I would be feeling even worse than I already do about being so poor, and so far away from my family. I can't afford cards, or gifts, or festive food, or any kind of party or gathering*, and can really appreciate why this is such a difficult time of year for many people.

Of course, I miss my family at this time of year, and if I had the money I would definitely travel to go and see them. If I had the money I would probably also send them gifts, because I love them and I like giving things to people I love. However, I'm fortunate that my family has never had any particular expectations about Christmas, and won't feel the least bit neglected or unloved by not receiving Christmas presents from me. All my Mum wants is for me to go to church, and maybe I will, as I like the Nativity story and the carols.

At this time of year there is an upside to being a spinster, living alone with my cat and my dog, as I can get away with just pleasing myself. If this means that I don't bother putting up decorations, and have cereal for Christmas dinner while wearing my pyjamas, my furkids aren't going to mind. Nor should anyone else. I generally don't admit that these are my plans for Christmas day, as it seems to upset other people.

I am sure I would feel differently about skipping Christmas (again) if I had kids, and my heart does go out to those who are also penniless at the moment, but want desperately to provide some kind of festive experience for their children.

There are other reasons that I don't particularly enjoy the Christmas season, which apply whether I'm poor or not. Mostly it's because going about my usual errands becomes even more difficult, with the extra crowds in the shopping centres, accessible parking becomes even more elusive than ever. Extra displays and piles of merchandise in the shops make it very difficult to get around; and if being a wheelchair-user wasn't awkward enough, I am also vegetarian, and I find the piles of meat and seafood everywhere unpleasant. I also don't like festive food like mince pies or Christmas pudding (or hot crossed buns; I don't like cooked fruit unless it's apple pie. This is definitely not my parents' fault!).

Even if I wasn't totally povo (which is hard to imagine, as I've been basically skint for the past several years; my fault for working for non-profits for little or even no money), I wouldn't be helping the economy much, as I've never been a very good consumer. Blame my hippie parents, but I prefer to make gifts over buying them. We have even been known to exchange gifts purchased from op shops or second-hand bookshops (personally, I adore pre-loved books). I also reel at the amount of money that gets spent on gifts that are instantly discarded. It seems like such a waste.

What I do like about Christmas time is the possibility of family gatherings. It's not my family's fault that I've landed myself on the other side of the world with no ability for visiting regularly (but I keep on trying with the $2 scratchies), but if it wasn't for that annoying 16,500kms, I'd be there with my sister, brother-in-law and my little nephew, who I've not seen in person since he was a new-born, more than 2 and ½ years ago.

But I keep in regular contact with all of my family members, mostly through facebook and twitter, but also through more dated modes of communication such as email and actual letter-writing (with paper, ink, envelopes and stamps). I'd love to be able to see them all in person, but this will have to do for now.

My concern at the moment is to be able to keep studying. I am halfway through a one-year course that may well extend into another six months, should I not be able to manage the full-time workload. This is quite likely, as the full-time load has been likened to a 60-hour working week, and I can barely manage 20. However, I have the option to drop down to three units per semester, if I take the extra time.

Because of my limited energy levels, working at the same time isn't possible. I wouldn't have minded working over these holidays, but was unable to find any casual work (same as last year). I am trying to do flea markets for some extra cash, but the weather is now working against me. Rainy flea markets aren't fun for anyone, especially if one is selling books and clothing. I am trying to knit as much as possible, and am working on my Etsy store to see if I can sell any of my knits. I'll post the link when it's ready. Feel free to buy stuff.

Centrelink gives me enough money to pay my rent, my utilities and to keep feeding my household, and I'm managing to cover my car costs, but there is nothing left over for frivolous things like clothes or postage. Or Christmas. So it's just as well that I don't do Christmas.

*This isn't a sly request for money. I'm very practiced at being skint, and I don't mind going through this so long as I have a goal at the end. If it looks like I can't afford to keep studying, then I may hit you up for cash!