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Why I hate being unemployed

Obviously, unemployment equals a lack of money, and since I stopped working/volunteering at my last job (I was only paid for 2 and a half out of the 3 years I worked there) last November, money has become increasingly scarce (while I volunteered, the organisation paid my petrol and contributed to my internet and phone costs). Being really, really skint isn't fun, but that isn't the real reason I hate being unemployed. In fact, there are several reasons why I hate being unemployed.

One reason is that I'm not used to it. I have been working since my teens, and have only been unemployed three times. Once when I quit college, after having left a great job to get my university entrance qualification. It was only briefly, as I found some casual work, and returned to college the next year, doing a different course. Then I was unemployed when I returned to Australia after graduating, but that only lasted a few weeks also (and how I ended up working as a telemarketer of all things!). And now.

Now is the worst time, as every other period of employment came when I was trying to push my life forward in some way. This time around it was not my choice; I resigned on a principal, rather than continue working where I was at odds with the Board.

So, in November last year I was involuntarily unemployed. And I still am. I am trying to not be unemployed, but am not making much progress. Out of all of the applications I've submitted, I've had only three interviews, and I was clearly unsuccessful each time. Twice was because of my disability, and I can only guess why I didn't get the one where I blitzed their spelling and typing tests.

It's a bewildering blow to my confidence, and I seriously wonder if I will ever work again. I did try to get temp work, casual work, but many of those fill-in job options are closed to me. I can't work in the food industry, because of Dexter, and couldn't be a waitress again, anyway. Only full-time admin temps are required, and even Coles couldn't see their way to take me on as a checkout chick.

It also doesn't help that I hit 40 during this time.

I am now working with an employment consultant - one that can "deal with" my disability (there is at least one that isn't "equipped to deal with" me) and have totally reworked my resume (apparently recruiters don't necessarily understand concepts such as "customer service" or "government liaison", so I now have four pages of carefully explained job history). She approves of the way I have been doing my cover letters, so is confident on my behalf that my new resume will finally bring some rewards. I will give it a go, anyway!

However, the worst part of all of being unemployed is having to tell people who ask that I am unemployed. This may be no big deal to some, but for me it is huge, particularly as - in my own experience - most strangers see me in my wheelchair and expect me to be unemployed. Unemployed and living on the Disability Pension, as that's what all disabled people do.

Throughout my wheelchair-using life, strangers have expressed their surprise at my working, driving, pursuing hobbies etc, as the general population seems to assume that anyone with a disability sits at home, watching daytime TV and living off the government.

My favourite example of this happened when I was at uni in the UK. I had just moved to Newbury, just outside Reading, and was experimenting with commuting into uni by train, rather than driving. As I was waiting on the platform, a man approached me, and asked if I was familiar with a new drop-in centre that had just opened near by. Somewhere for people like me (ie with a disability) to go during the day. I was able to tell him that, what with my full-time studies, working part-time and training for my first wheelchair racing marathon, I was a bit busy. But thanks, anyway.

Every other time since then, I've been able to astound the general public by telling that I, in fact, work. Not only that, it's not in sheltered/supported employment, as several people have assumed. One of my neighbours thought I worked at Canine Helpers simply because I was in a wheelchair.

Yet another side of it all is that I enjoy working. I admit that I have a tendency to work too much, and too hard, but so far I have been fortunate enough to have jobs that I have loved, for organisations that I value and respect. I also feel that I'm really good at what I do (administration, policy writing, grant-writing, running a small charity), and have developed some excellent skills over my working life. I am happy for my main activity in life to be work. I am happy to define myself by my job.

I'm not happy to define myself as unemployed; I hate it.

However, after a traumatic end to 2010, I have to admit that this spare time has been useful. I've been able to concentrate on improving my health, and was able to spend much more time with my Mum and Step-Dad when they visited in December. I have been knitting, reading, writing and socialising more. And I've been thinking about what I really want to do.

I've decided, at the third time of trying, to get my high-school teaching qualification (subject to satisfying QTAC's qualifying criteria, which is turning out to be much more complicated than just showing my certificates) and become a teacher. Now there's a job to define oneself by! It also changes my view of working. Now, all I want is some temporary work to see me through to July, when I - fingers crossed - return to full-time study. Of course, Sod's Law dictates that I will now find an amazing job, and be forced to decide between the two. But that's a preferable option to being unemployed!

Comments

  1. Yay for future teacher Kate! :-) An excellent ambition.

    Hope the temping works out well too—I guess that knowing the temping is only temporary makes it a lot easier to feel relaxed about being a temp. If that makes any sense …

    ReplyDelete

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